Another Last

I had probably the most insane weekend so far this school year. No doubt. I guess I'll start by saying that if I would have ate more chocolate I woulda breathed better. Let's start with Friday. Everyone loves Friday, right? Well this Friday was a little something different for me. I sang the National Anthem for my pep assembly, and watched my Senior friends participate in the Homecoming Court games. I remember watching as a Frosh, Soph, and Junior... and thinking "They're so old, and so cool!". And watching my good friends Liza, Josh, Derrick, Leo, and Bryce made me realize... we really aren't that old and really aren't that cool! Or are we? Haha. I went home that day knowing that that night would be very hard for me. It was Senior night, my LAST football game as a high school student, and my last football performance. And that made my heart tug a little.
          I did my normal routine of the performance makeup, the performance hair, but this time... intstead of my costume, I put on something cute for once. Senior night! I packed my bag with my costume and poms, and left for the game! Driving into town, I thought about how I'd feel walking onto the field to be recognized with my parents. To sing the National Anthem once again, for the last football game. To perform on that football field ONE last time. I skipped past those thoughts as I parked my car, and walked on into the game with my friends. All the parents and my Senior drill girls lined up with the Sports Med Seniors, Football Seniors, and the Cheer Senior. My coaches handed me flowers, and chocolates. The announcer said our names one by one and we walked out, and it was something else. Looking up into the stands, hearing people cheer your names, and seeing cameras flash. It's wierd realizing that your a Senior, FINALLY. And that hey, you just might be growing up! That's odd.
           Right after that was over, I walked nervously up to the announcer booth, and prepared to sing the National Anthem. It's really cool to hear your name announced, and to be handed the microphone! All the power is yours. I figured I'd be singing for the whole town because our friends told us they could hear our coach count for us at one of our field practices. So, I opened my mouth and belted it out loud and proud. It felt good. I got a lot of compliments, and that always makes you happy.
            Then, next on the list was the DRILL TEAM YO. At 2nd quarter, all of us headed into the locker rooms to get changed and ready to go! Once we were ready, out we went to go stretch and get a good look at the crowd. So many things are running around in your head, okay... where am I at this formation? Oh my gosh, what if I mess up? WHAT IF I FALL ON MY FACE?! Before I knew it, we were lined up and walking on. And boom. We performed. We had a bad start, since we couldn't hear the music, then just little things went wrong. I kicked too early on the kick sequence then quickly recovered,  our ripple broke, then one of girls did what I was afraid of doing... she fell, but on her bum. But all in all, it went JUST fine, and honestly... looked pretty dang good. It was our pom number for Nationals. As soon as we hit our last pose, tears bursted into my eyes. I ran off stiffling the tears, and realizing... welp, that was it! Not "it-it", because we still got the whole season to go, but for the football season, and ever.
            As soon as that was over, I watched my best friends Liza and Josh be crowned 1st runner-ups for King and Queen, and then my good friends Bryce and Kristi were crowned King and Queen. The pictures and the music, and riding around in the trucks- ah! WE'RE SENIORS! That night I went home and "studied" for the ACT'S. And my dad made me a steak. Yay! I went to torn both ways, sad that that was another last, but happy because they ARE LASTS and I got a whole lot coming up! One step closer.
            I woke up the next morning super early and had a legit breakfast with Maren. My mom made omlets, SOOOO good. We went to the ACT'S and basically tortured our brains, no joke. MOST DRAINING EXPERIENCE EVER. From 8-12, I fried my brain, then went to grab some lunch with Maren and then go to Liza's soccer game, which I was ONCE EVEN AGAIN, singing the National Anthem. Except this one I kinda, sorta... butchered. I didn't look at the time at lunch, then had 5 minutes to get down to the field, SPED THERE AND BOOKED IT TO THE BOOTH. I was a little out of breath, could barely sing. By "and the rockets red glare" and on it was fine. But the very beginning was so SHAKEY, and so hard to listen to, I was so out of breath! But, hey... give me some credit here. Did I not sing the National Anthem 3 times, in less than 24 hours??
            After the game was done, Liza and I high tailed it to her house and got ready with Camiel and Kendall for the Homecoming Dance. So there was nail polish, curling irons, perfumes, dresses, shoes, and of course... chocolate everywhere! We got ready in about two hours, and Liza was the first to be picked up, then Camiel. Mine and Kendall's date,Cliff and Dylan, were a taddd bit late, trying to help Josh find his date because she lived in the Neverlands! So, we missed pictures, but went straight to dinner. And all I can say is... MMMMM. :) Adam Coulson's kind parents set up the tables so nicely, nice plates and silverware, candles and flowers, and pretty background music. We had caesar salad, chicken alfredo, bread, sparkling cider, and cheesecake! Then, we killed time by taking some pictures, then off to the dance we went! As soon as we got there, there was a power outtage for about 25 minutes, and then once it was back on again... a typical high school dance was back on.
           I want to explain something. It doesn't make me feel good, or comfortable, to be around a room of people getting down and grinding, to see many people who I know are going to get wasted, high, or all the other stupid things. I'm just really not okay with it. So guess how long my group stayed? Probably not even an hour, like... a half hour. We left to the Stake Center, and played hide and seek in the dark in the church, then played capture the flag outside... which included a little visit from the cops because we were too loud hehe, then cinammon rolls and then the night was over. And you know what? It was fun! Without alchohol, and who knows what else. I sat in my other classes today and got to hear about all the other things that people did before, at, and after the dance. And I'm so glad to say that I wasn't apart of it. It isn't worth it. I teared up just thinking about how sick it made me that some people thinlk it's totally okay to do all these things. I left and went to Liza's house before fourth and she fed me some chocolate cake, which made me feel a ton better. I am so grateful to have her in my life, she is such a wonderful example, and is EXACTLY what a TRUE friend should be. With her, I am safe. Just as I am with my other true friends.
           That was, again, my very last Homecoming dance. And I'm okay with that. Don't get me wrong, I had so much fun with my date and with my group, but I honestly, can't wait to get out of High School. That'll be the day. But for now, I am so grateful for who I am, all the opportunities that are coming for me. "All that's been promised, all that Heaven offers, all I could ever need. If not today, then surely tomorrow, if I can keep the faith, if I can only WAIT."  I found this song today, and decided that it's basically my theme song. My favorite part is "IF NOT TODAY, THEN SURELY TOMORROW. If I can only wait."
            And I will wait.

               

Senioritis.

       

      
                                         

I haven't blogged since June, due to my forgetful brain, couldn't even remember a password. So, HEY! Summer is gone, and fall is here! I can't even wrap my head around how FAST that time in between went. Let's start with my summer. I did so many things, amazing, wonderful, CRAZY things. It was a summer of lasts. Last year at Girl's Camp, last year at the Pioneer Trek, first and last year at EFY, last year of Drill Camp, and last summer in high school. It's wierd to think how "grown up" I am now. Kind of freaks me out, made my heart sort of tug, torn both ways of sadness and excitement. But I truly feel like this summer prepared me for everything that's already coming my way. Girl's Camp made me realize I was never coming back as a Young Women and someday that it might just be my calling in the church... I may even just go back as an old leader! What the heck? The Pioneer Trek made me realize how easy we have it now, I thought doing chores, cleaning my bedroom, and all the outside world things were bad! It's not like we have to walk through ice cold water and pull handcarts up the biggest inclines known to man. That was just a little glimpse. I am so thankful for the ways now. And what can I say about EFY? Especially For Youth. They weren't kidding, I feel like it was made for me. I so needed a pick-me-up this summer, and that's exactly what I got. You met a new person everyday who was so genuinely nice! SO MUCH FUN TOO. It was the gospel everyday, all day, all week and not ONCE did I ever tire of it, it was the experience of a lifetime, and I so wish it would have lasted longer. I've never felt my testimony grow that much. I was on a spiritual high, haha. I even got to spend my birthday there! One thing I know to be true : no matter where you go, this gospel is TRUE, it is the same and always will be. I should probably stop talking about EFY cause now I miss it. It was even better to come home to a wonderful surprise birthday decorated room :) So, moving on! haha. It was my last year of Drill Team Camp. And what a way to have it go out with a bang! SOOOO LEGIT. Indoor Water Park? YES! Never ending yummy buffet? YES! Team Bonding? YES! Hours and hours and hours of dance? YESSS! It was truly an awesome time, and I love my girls more than anything. This year will definitely be one to REMEMBER. I also got to go on THEE best Laurel's trip ever. I LOVE TO YACHT IN THE SAN JUANS. Definitely a highlight of my summer. When I wasn't away in the summer, I was enjoying good old Moses Lake. Boating, walking through the corn fields, riding the horse, laughing and crying with my best friends, spending as much time as possible with my summer love ;), eating chocolate, late movie nights, stargazing, drill team practices, driving around endlessly, cleaning out my closet, babysitting, texting, mormon partying it up with my girls, and imagining in my head what the next, but last year in high school would be like.
                  Well, here I am. After an exhausting end of August, I stepped into SENIOR YEAR. Probably could have been more positive... but on my first day, the only thing I could think of was "What the heck. Where did my summer go?? AH! I don't want to be here! Is the year over yet?!". For real. It was all I could do to not burst into tears. I realized, I was so over high school. It's not that I don't love the weekends with my friends, because believe me... I DO. Not that I don't absolutely love drill team - because there is no doubt I do!! Not that I think my schedule or classes are too hard, because they aren't- really. I am just ready for a new everything. New atmosphere, new people, new change, new routine... new, new, new! I am bored. It hit me pretty hard, too. Everyday all I say to myself in my head is "One foot in front of the other". Especially when I hear immature lower classmen curse in every single sentence, wait no.. they curse every split second, when kids think that they have to yell to each other in the hallways when they're RIGHT next to each other, when there are couples sucking each other's faces off against walls, when your trying to get to class and there are people taking their SWEET FREAKING TIME, when kids who can drive literally think it's a demo derby in the parkinglot, or when people think it's okay to be unbelievably rude to anyone and everyone. I swear, no one has respect there. It's a jungle. ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER MAKENNA.
            High School for some is a time for people to find out who they are, what they want to do in life, and how they are going to get there. And thank heavens for those people who have their heads on straight. But for some, they lose complete sight as to why they are there in the first place. If your coming for your boyfriend who won't be your boyfriend after the four years here, if your coming for the social parts of it, if your coming with a big head and thinking your sooo cool, if your coming thinking you have the best car, if your coming thinking that what you do now won't effect you are- will be, and what you'll do after high school... you'd better rethink that and figure it out. Good luck to ya.
            As for me, I have Senioritis. My mind is so set on making the correct choices and decisions, working hard and making my friendships with my friends last, because after all... I am stuck here for the rest of this school year. In high school, you find out who your true friends are. And I have them. I am going to slip up sometimes, but I can always fix things, and these friends... will never give up on me. I don't need the perfect boyfriend, the perfect car, the perfect social status, the perfect everything to be happy in high school. I got a whole lotta good stuff ahead. 
                So, not trying to be a complete downer, because there are the great things about high school. The weekends where you do crazy things with your friends, trying to make Moses Lake fun. Like last night, who else would go to Denny's late at night wearing onesies? Yeah, my friends and I. It's what we do. :) I am learning Sign Language and using that as my Senior Project- teaching it to my third graders I get to see everyday for fourth period. Seeing them makes me realize how much they have ahead of them and how truly innocent they are. And I was one of them, and I never thought I'd get here. I'm grown up. I know who I am, what I want to do in life, and how I'm going to get there!
                   It's my last year at home. Last times with family here at home, last Christmas at home, last New Year's Eve at home, last Valentine's Day at home, last Spring Break at home, last year of Drill Team...  last year of early morning practices and last night practices, last times of stepping out onto the floor with my team to show people what we work so hard for... all these last performances- Guy/Girl, first last home competition, first last Nationals, and last time at State. And of all, GRADUATION. Last time here as a high schooler. Because this summer will be... college everything. College firsts. I'll be 18! So, here's to Senior Year, please go by fast so I can stop going insane.... but at the same time.... LONG LIVE.