I'm Only Me When I'm With You.

I can safely say, as probably as pathetic as it is... Saying goodbye to Maren and all the feelings afterwards- were and are much worse than a break up. Haha. I didn't think the day where we'd have to say "I'll see you in a couple of months..." would happen. Last night our friends got together to say our last goodbyes and all that jazz. I don't think I've ever cried so hard and I'm not really sure how I got home safely, especially when everything was behind blurry, teared eyes. Maren and I just kept crying and hugging and laughing, and that repeated itself for more than 10 minutes. My eyes are dry and puffy, and my heart hurts a little too much. Everytime I'm alone I go into panic mode and realize I can't just look across the field to know Maren's there, safe and sound. Shoot. This best friend business is hard. After saying goodbye to Mare, I'm pretty positive I sounded like the BIGGEST baby. I haven't cried like that since... I was like 10. I didn't get any sleep, and when I went to work I felt like a zombie. Drove home and cried once again. And yes, it's okay for me to have a little pity party for myself. Being away from your sister after being together for 18 years is... just dumb. I'm so excited for her, don't get me wrong, but I just wish we hadn't grown up so fast.
            Maren is the kind of girl who, no matter how much you don't make sense, gets it all. Understands what I'm saying when no one else does, or even tries. She's the friend that laughs with me about the most ridiculous things that no one else finds funny. Maren is the only person that knows every single detail about me and STILL chooses to be my best friend. She's the friend that I can talk to about our crazy family, the boys who steal our little hearts, how good this food was, the embarrassing things that happened to us that week, and the one who will allow me to lay on her bed and talk about... nothing.
           Maren is the girl who everyone wants to be around, because she brings out the best in everyone. Makes everyone laugh, and there's just never a dull moment. Like, ever. I admire her for everything she is. She will have no trouble making new friends at college, and capturing lotsa boys' hearts. It's going to be a little more difficult than it should be to get through this summer without her. She is irreplaceable and after never being separated for 18 years, is literally a life change. It's like having a big part of you, gone!
           Growing up is tricky. I remember always saying when I was younger how I couldn't wait to get to high school or college, and that it wouldn't happen- it would just take too long. Well, now it's here, and I don't think I ever took into careful consideration what it would really feel like seeing empty rooms, packed up boxes, and hugging for the last time for a good 3 months. But that is also the good part about growing up and these goodbies. The ones I love the most, and that are the most important to me, I'll always be with no matter the distance. We'll always come back during Thanksgiving's, Christmas's, and back for a summer before it starts all over again. It's truly a little bit intimidating how fast time really goes. If I thought it'd take this long to get to college and how it really just flew over my head, then I'll be married and have a family in no time. Haha, justttt kidding... But I'm serious.
          Of course I'm excited for Maren, she's going to have the time of her life. I'm just really going to miss her. This summer will be something I will always remember for many reasons. This'll probably bring me and Liza B even closer since we'll both be Maren deprived. I might also enjoy an extended summer love, I mean, I'm kinda taking up this boyfriend thing.. :) Haha. I'll be slowly detaching away from being lazy and letting momma do everything for me. I'll be more cautious of what I keep and throw out, because I got a room to pack up at the end of the summer. I'll be a LITTLE nicer to my brothers, a little. I'll be skying with Mare quite often, no biggie. I might miss her a little too much, but I know that the next time we see each other, that reuniting hug will be one to go down in the books. Ohhhh this'll be a long summer.
          Alright, Mare. Go get 'em. Go find a little part of 'Provo Maren' in you. Make the lifelong friends, and go on some good dates and just be YOU. They'll either run, or they'll fall head over heels. ;) Work hard, and show them all why you deserve to be there. Don't forget your best friend back in good ol' Moses Lake. Remember to write it all down in your journal. Cause this is it. I love you and I'll be missing you every day. We're like... a peanut. One shell until we're cracked open! Do you remember that funny? Cause I don't remember how to say it, but it sure was hilarious. Or maybe it wasn't. Eh, I can't remember. Well, don't worry baby girl, I'll give Dyl some good hugs.
           I'm only me when I'm with you, and you know it's true.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlTfYj7q5gQ

Summer a while back.

My favorite of us from Girl's Camp!

Junior Year.

Our famous 'Telly Tubby' face.

Halloween!

Christmas Eve!

Prom.

Seminary Graduation.

Graduation Day!

You know how we do. ;)

We hold hands for everything!

All done!

LOVE.

Wouldn't let me smear cake on her face.

Our mommies. :)

"You're my best friend..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... You're mine too."

    

High School Graduate?

So, I did it! I peaced out of high school like it was no body's business! Haha. But really. Saturday was definitely a memorable day, there were so many happy emotions. I don't think I even cried once like I imagined I would. ONLY BECAUSE IT'S JUST SO EXCITING! My summer has already started! I don't work at all this week until Friday. So what do I get to do while my family is off at school and work? I get to sleep IN. Hang out in sweats. Make thank you letters, and carry up great gifts to my room. A little bit about gifts. I now have my kitchen stuff all good to go. HOLY JUNK. Like, I have my own silverware!! And my own cheese grater! Uh, weird. Just weird. But awesome. Also, now I have enough to pay for an entire year of housing at college, which is something to definitely be excited about! But I think my favorite part that came of graduation, is this pretty little laptop sitting right in front of me. I LOVE IT. Of course, when I go to college, it'll have to be used for other things such as school work... but for right now, it is soooo much fun to play around with. I'd say it was worth getting through high school. So, now that I am graduated... I got one long summer of work and fun, and then it's college time. I guess you could already consider me a freshman in college? Registration is on June 20th. Heck, I don't know what I'm supposed to take! That's why I got a mom and lots of older friends! Life is just getting good. I am happy. Now that I'm not everywhere at once, and things have started to slow down, I get time to read my scriptures in the morning and am making time for at night. I think that has DEFINITELY played into the happiness role. I have to make that a steady routine, because when I go to college, that's when I'll need my Heavenly Father the most. I can't wait for what's next. But for right now, a relaxed summer, with 2 good jobs, good friends, and skyping almost every night with Maren sounds good! I can't believe she's actually moving away next Wednesday... I don't think it has hit me yet, one bit. I don't know how I'll react to Wednesday, but it's ok because we'll always be together... and we both got pretty lap tops to skype with each other on. Thank goodness for today's technology! I am so glad to be done with high school. I am ready for the next part of life. I'm a high school graduate, and a freshman in college. Here we go.