I gotta go and I cannot wait.

Today I have been thinking a lot about college. And I have no idea why. But it's always in the back of my brain. All I've been thinking is, I have got to get out of here, and quick. My three part time jobs are not exactly how I'd like to spend my summer, but hey, money for college is crucial. I guess I'll thank myself later. I probably will. Lately mom has been bringing home my basic groceries, basic kitchen tools, boxes of noodles, stocked me up on shaving cream, lotsa saran wrap, and heck- she even bought me bundles of my own toilet paper. Here is a description of what my room looks like. One side is college everything stacked up, some on the couch and some in tubs. My comforter set, my laundry stuff, my entertainment for college, all that is on one side of the room. And on the other side, is where I'm living. I don't ever make my bed anymore, actually I stopped doing that when I was like 12. I have all my belongings that I won't be taking to college in my hope chest, and  I have lotsa clothes on the floor. I clean them, but really, they're just gonna get packed up anyways. Hahaha. I'm trying to imagine what it'll all look like come a month from today. Should be pretty bare. Boxed up. It's so freaking scary, but so freaking exciting!! Mainly, I just want to step out of my comfort zone. I want a change of scenery, new people, and a new me. I guess this is the part of life, where people truly find out who they are and the actual idea of what they really want. I've been trying to compare my wants right now, to the wants I'll have at college. They'll probably change or be forgotten completely. I have a plan for myself, but, who knows, ask me in a few months down the road or even next year- the plan could totally change. That's pretty terrifying, considering I have a pretty safe and secure plan. But, things happen. I have my expectations of what my first year of college will be like. I will more than likely just want to scream and pull my hair out due to stresses ranging from strangers as roommates and how I am just not the best student. But I'm going to try to just breathe and keep it all in and try to act as an adult. Ha. I know that it is not going to be easy, but I need it. I think that is why I'm having such a hard time getting through this boring summer. My life is waiting. I think this is the first time ever, that I will ever ever ever say, I wish this summer would go by faster. I gotta go, and I cannot wait!