Flashback through 2012.

Heyyo!
       So, I was thinking. We're about 17 days into the new year. It really does feel like a new year. I just started my second semester of college here at BYU-I. It's full of mixed feelings. I came to really love my roommates last semester, met new people that I eventually came very close with, and discovered how much I can truly handle. And now that's all gone. Along with a new year, came a new track of new roommates, new people that I haven't connected with, but... I'm still learning how much more I can handle... and what I can't. But today as I was walking home from campus, I thought alot about my 2012. The people that came into my life, and the people that left my life. The memories I created, and the memories that still hold great value to me. The hardships and trials I somehow survived. And every single experience that made for one heck of a year.  I really can't believe that it's a new year. Where did 2012 even go? I would like to list the things I experienced, felt, and learned.
              At the beginning of the year, I got to be a member of the Molahiette Dance Team. That had been a huge dream of mine since I saw them perform for our school my freshman year. In 2011, during the summer, we had worked our butts off, I swear- like every day. As we came into the new year, it was competition season. Was I scared? Nah... maybe a little bit. I've never known the feeling of confidence like I did on that team. With each daily practice and monthly competition, I learned the important lesson of hard work, dedication, and courage. There was nothing that could compare to the way I felt walking on with my team each time to perform. I was never scared that we would make fools of ourselves, I could feel the confidence and excitement just surging through each of us as we danced. It was THE COOLEST thing I've ever felt. And it only took us on to State and Nationals, where we walked away with happiness and, oh you know, championship titles. There are a lot of people that don't understand why we feel the way we feel being a part of that team... only my former and fellow Molahiettes can completely relate and undertand. So, 2012 gave me the opportunity to do what I love and gave me experiences that made my Senior Year so special.
           Also, at the beginning of January, I was accepted into BYU- Idaho. And at that point, I really had no idea what I was getting into. I was so happy to recieve that acceptance letter. My Mom and Grandma cried. I can't believe that's in been a whole year since I've been accepted. My whole senior year I prepared for college and tried my best to stay focused on my ending career of high school. I remember that last stretch, I was so excited to graduate, and to move on to BYU-Idaho.
          Graduation day came. June 2. I had done it! Four whole years. Bleh. I just remember being unbelievably happy walking with my cousin Maren down the field. Okay no, we skipped and danced and victory bumped all the way to our seats. The graduation ceremony was windy and crazy and so fun. We stood up at one point and did a flash mob. Except of course, our senior class being as lame and too cool as we are, only like 50 people stood up and actually did it. I did it proudly. I was recognized that day as a Molahiette and for the State and National Championship. Another proud moment. As the ceremony closed, we turned our tassels and threw our hats in the air. I lost mine. So I went searching for it, knocking down chairs. That was my hat. Haha. Afterwards, flowers and pictures and hugs and congrats were everywhere. Later that day, Maren and I got to share our graduation party. There was so much food and fun and presents and foooddd. That night, I didn't come home. Partyyyy.
          During the summer, I turned 18! That was a big step. I got to share it with special people and was treated well. And now that I was 18, along came so much more freedom. Summer was good. Really good. I miss summer. And during that time, my room became more and more cluttered with college stuff and boxes and suitcases and all that I would need. It started to be exciting... but I also started to get scared out of my mind. A good scared.
           The day I left for Rexburg, Idaho, was one of the hardest days of my entire life. Saying goodbye to my brothers was harder for me, because I think for them it hadn't set in yet. It wasn't real for them until I was actually gone. As I got in the car, that was jam packed with my belongings, I cried and cried. And my mom thought it'd be funny to take a picture. Real funny, ma. I forgave her. Though no one will ever see those pictures. Saying goodbye to my dog was even difficult! Driving out of my driveway... I am pretty sure I almost died. But I made it to Rexburg eventually and it has become a second home. Kinda.
           First semester took me for a spin. I'm not exactly sure how I'm still alive and breathing after it. I found out who I am.... and who I wasn't. The things I won't ever be. I found out what is important. And Heavenly Father took me from the path I was on, to this new path I'm still trying to figure out how to walk on. It's kind of humorous.... how Heavenly Father works. Obviously, I don't know my plan at all, so I'm just blindly following. Faith is key, I guess. But first semester, even though it was the most tough, crazy, and difficult start..... turned out to be the most wonderful experience I could ever have at college. I guess that's why I find it so hard to adjust to this new semester.
          Going home for Thanksgiving and Christmas made me realize how much I love home and where I come from. I am so extremely blessed and I am eternally grateful for the life I live. During Christmas break, our family watched home videos, and I was so happy to just know that I have one of the greatest families on this earth. And this great family gets to go to heaven together to be an eternal family. Through thick and thin, tough times and happy times, they're the only people I run to, and I feel so safe whenever I am home. I can't wait to see them in April.
          My last wonderful experience of 2012, was New Years Eve. I had been pondering in my head a lot what I could do to free myself from past experiences and memories that were weighing down on me. I made the concious decision to stop letting certain things control me- that I could be sad and think about whatever I wanted, but that I had to let it all go.... and move onward. And I did. As soon as it hit 2013- I was free.
        I am so happy to be who I am. For what I've experienced, known, and for whatever is up next for me. It could be a mission. It could be more school. It could be whatever else. I don't know! Maren was saying the other day in a letter, that we're at the age where we can do anything, be anything, choose anything, and try anything we want! Whether it's making the huge decision to go on a mission, study abroad, switch colleges, or you know- just maybe find the one and get hitched and start a family! It's so wonderful because it's our choice. And that's also why it's the most terrifying thing in the world. So here's to a new year. What's up next for me? I don't know. I turn 19 in July. Maybe I'll go serve the Lord by going on a mission? Maybe I'll do more schooling? Maybe I'll like, out of the blue, meet my husband? Haha, not likely, but YOU NEVER KNOW! But Heavenly Father does. So this new year is a year of faith, and true dependance on Him, to get me where I need to be. Peace out 2012. Hello 2013.