I'm Only Me When I'm With You.

I can safely say, as probably as pathetic as it is... Saying goodbye to Maren and all the feelings afterwards- were and are much worse than a break up. Haha. I didn't think the day where we'd have to say "I'll see you in a couple of months..." would happen. Last night our friends got together to say our last goodbyes and all that jazz. I don't think I've ever cried so hard and I'm not really sure how I got home safely, especially when everything was behind blurry, teared eyes. Maren and I just kept crying and hugging and laughing, and that repeated itself for more than 10 minutes. My eyes are dry and puffy, and my heart hurts a little too much. Everytime I'm alone I go into panic mode and realize I can't just look across the field to know Maren's there, safe and sound. Shoot. This best friend business is hard. After saying goodbye to Mare, I'm pretty positive I sounded like the BIGGEST baby. I haven't cried like that since... I was like 10. I didn't get any sleep, and when I went to work I felt like a zombie. Drove home and cried once again. And yes, it's okay for me to have a little pity party for myself. Being away from your sister after being together for 18 years is... just dumb. I'm so excited for her, don't get me wrong, but I just wish we hadn't grown up so fast.
            Maren is the kind of girl who, no matter how much you don't make sense, gets it all. Understands what I'm saying when no one else does, or even tries. She's the friend that laughs with me about the most ridiculous things that no one else finds funny. Maren is the only person that knows every single detail about me and STILL chooses to be my best friend. She's the friend that I can talk to about our crazy family, the boys who steal our little hearts, how good this food was, the embarrassing things that happened to us that week, and the one who will allow me to lay on her bed and talk about... nothing.
           Maren is the girl who everyone wants to be around, because she brings out the best in everyone. Makes everyone laugh, and there's just never a dull moment. Like, ever. I admire her for everything she is. She will have no trouble making new friends at college, and capturing lotsa boys' hearts. It's going to be a little more difficult than it should be to get through this summer without her. She is irreplaceable and after never being separated for 18 years, is literally a life change. It's like having a big part of you, gone!
           Growing up is tricky. I remember always saying when I was younger how I couldn't wait to get to high school or college, and that it wouldn't happen- it would just take too long. Well, now it's here, and I don't think I ever took into careful consideration what it would really feel like seeing empty rooms, packed up boxes, and hugging for the last time for a good 3 months. But that is also the good part about growing up and these goodbies. The ones I love the most, and that are the most important to me, I'll always be with no matter the distance. We'll always come back during Thanksgiving's, Christmas's, and back for a summer before it starts all over again. It's truly a little bit intimidating how fast time really goes. If I thought it'd take this long to get to college and how it really just flew over my head, then I'll be married and have a family in no time. Haha, justttt kidding... But I'm serious.
          Of course I'm excited for Maren, she's going to have the time of her life. I'm just really going to miss her. This summer will be something I will always remember for many reasons. This'll probably bring me and Liza B even closer since we'll both be Maren deprived. I might also enjoy an extended summer love, I mean, I'm kinda taking up this boyfriend thing.. :) Haha. I'll be slowly detaching away from being lazy and letting momma do everything for me. I'll be more cautious of what I keep and throw out, because I got a room to pack up at the end of the summer. I'll be a LITTLE nicer to my brothers, a little. I'll be skying with Mare quite often, no biggie. I might miss her a little too much, but I know that the next time we see each other, that reuniting hug will be one to go down in the books. Ohhhh this'll be a long summer.
          Alright, Mare. Go get 'em. Go find a little part of 'Provo Maren' in you. Make the lifelong friends, and go on some good dates and just be YOU. They'll either run, or they'll fall head over heels. ;) Work hard, and show them all why you deserve to be there. Don't forget your best friend back in good ol' Moses Lake. Remember to write it all down in your journal. Cause this is it. I love you and I'll be missing you every day. We're like... a peanut. One shell until we're cracked open! Do you remember that funny? Cause I don't remember how to say it, but it sure was hilarious. Or maybe it wasn't. Eh, I can't remember. Well, don't worry baby girl, I'll give Dyl some good hugs.
           I'm only me when I'm with you, and you know it's true.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlTfYj7q5gQ

Summer a while back.

My favorite of us from Girl's Camp!

Junior Year.

Our famous 'Telly Tubby' face.

Halloween!

Christmas Eve!

Prom.

Seminary Graduation.

Graduation Day!

You know how we do. ;)

We hold hands for everything!

All done!

LOVE.

Wouldn't let me smear cake on her face.

Our mommies. :)

"You're my best friend..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... You're mine too."

    

High School Graduate?

So, I did it! I peaced out of high school like it was no body's business! Haha. But really. Saturday was definitely a memorable day, there were so many happy emotions. I don't think I even cried once like I imagined I would. ONLY BECAUSE IT'S JUST SO EXCITING! My summer has already started! I don't work at all this week until Friday. So what do I get to do while my family is off at school and work? I get to sleep IN. Hang out in sweats. Make thank you letters, and carry up great gifts to my room. A little bit about gifts. I now have my kitchen stuff all good to go. HOLY JUNK. Like, I have my own silverware!! And my own cheese grater! Uh, weird. Just weird. But awesome. Also, now I have enough to pay for an entire year of housing at college, which is something to definitely be excited about! But I think my favorite part that came of graduation, is this pretty little laptop sitting right in front of me. I LOVE IT. Of course, when I go to college, it'll have to be used for other things such as school work... but for right now, it is soooo much fun to play around with. I'd say it was worth getting through high school. So, now that I am graduated... I got one long summer of work and fun, and then it's college time. I guess you could already consider me a freshman in college? Registration is on June 20th. Heck, I don't know what I'm supposed to take! That's why I got a mom and lots of older friends! Life is just getting good. I am happy. Now that I'm not everywhere at once, and things have started to slow down, I get time to read my scriptures in the morning and am making time for at night. I think that has DEFINITELY played into the happiness role. I have to make that a steady routine, because when I go to college, that's when I'll need my Heavenly Father the most. I can't wait for what's next. But for right now, a relaxed summer, with 2 good jobs, good friends, and skyping almost every night with Maren sounds good! I can't believe she's actually moving away next Wednesday... I don't think it has hit me yet, one bit. I don't know how I'll react to Wednesday, but it's ok because we'll always be together... and we both got pretty lap tops to skype with each other on. Thank goodness for today's technology! I am so glad to be done with high school. I am ready for the next part of life. I'm a high school graduate, and a freshman in college. Here we go.

Just countin' the days...

It seems that the only thing that has been stuck on my mind for the past... 9 months (haha), but more than ever is GRADUATION. I was thinking of all the great things that this means. It means that I don't have to walk through the halls as a high schooler any longer, it means that my summer starts (YES.), it means I can start working (which is really ironic, because one of my jobs is working at the high school tutoring summer school- BUT I'm getting paid and that makes it ok), I get to freeze in a snow cone shop the whole summer- and I'm actually really excited about it, it means I'll soon be an adult, it means I am one step closer to college, and it all basically comes down to the fact that my freedom officially starts on June 2, day of graduation. It all sounds great, right? I even told my mom that to not wait up for me that night... Cause I ain't coming home!! But then... I started to think about some other factors that will play into graduation. My best friend leaves for her summer term the week after graduation, I have to start preparing myself for that. Because I can't keep pretending that it's not going to happen. But the only reason I'm ok with it, is because I know that with her and I it's never really ever goodbye. And we get to walk together at graduation, how many people get to say that they walked with not only their best friend but their cousin and sister all in one? That's gonna be great! We are combining graduation parties, and when our family gets together- that's a lot of food and a TON of fun. June 2nd will be a really, really good day. But another downer, endless shopping for college. I don't really like shopping, and I don't like thinking about everything that falls under the category of preparing for college. But then again, that should be exciting! And of all, graduation means another chapter of life complete. Today I went and picked up the letter that I wrote to myself my eighth grade year. It was a LIIIIITTLE embarrassing, but more than anything it was just proof how much I have grown up. And I am so grateful for that haha. Life goes pretty quick. If those four years just flew by, then the next 8 days or so will be here in no time. I'll be wearing my cap and gown, surrounded by friends, peers, and family. I am so grateful for the memories and experiences I have taken away from high school. Whether it'd be drill team, school in general, memories with friends- I'd say I had a pretty good four years, even though I still hate high school. :) Tomorrow is the "senior frolic trip". They're driving us up to Sun Lakes and it's an all day party. We'll see how that goes, but hey, at least we won't be sitting in class. So, the next time I blog, I'll probably be, a high schooler no more, and a freshman in college soon to be. Whoa. Peace out high school.

;) Totally mature and ready to graduate, huh?

Long Live. Drill Team Theme Song.

Molahiette Forever.

When the world says "GIVE UP," Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."

Instead of trying to write down my feelings and thoughts on this year in large paragraphs, I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. :)

From beginning to end, a journey worth a thousand words!

                                                First performance back on Lion's Field!

                                               Kickin high! I'm on the 1st line on the left!

                                                Football Performances were so much fun!

                                                                       Senior Night!

                                             Pep Assembly Performance! Gangsta dance. ;)

       I seriously loved this dance, was the only thing close to hip hop we did!

                                                    Gettin' down with our bad selves!

                                                                 Guy/Girl Routine!

                                           Some good looking Kissing Bandit Seniors :)

                                                  Quincy Comp! (I'm in the back.)

                                         Quincy Comp, love this dance! Can't you tell?

                                             Shadle Park Comp! Vocal: scream loudly. :)

                                                  Leg hold! Couldn't do one last year. :)

                                                           West Valley Comp! Military.

                                                      Winning at EVERY competition!

                        EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US HOLDING HEADSTANDS AT STATE!

                                           DOMINATION. Vocal: SCREAM REAL LOUD.

                                                   Winner winner, chicken dinner!

                                      Seniors last State experience! Came out as CHAMPS!

                                   We win! 2 time State Champions! With one 2nd place!

                          Last practice! Bitter sweet! Were given fanny packs for Nationals!

                                        Getting on the airplane! CALIFORNIA BOUND.

                May not have won with this one at Nationals, but sure did at State!
                                                         My favorite dance ever!

             NATIONAL CHAMPIONS IN LARGE DANCE/POM! Best thrill of my life.

                                             NATIONAL CHAMPS IN KICK! yesssss.

                                          Forever an accomplished and proud family!

                                                                        WE DID IT!

           There is a bit of insanity in dancing that does everybody a great deal of good. ~Edwin Denby
                    For real though, this girl got me through a ton!!! Love you Camielia!

                                                                           I DID IT.

                                         Once a Molahiette, ALWAYS a MOLAHIETTE!

I can't believe it's over. I did it. Through literally... blood, sweat, and tears. But also through success and small failures. But really, if you try- you never fail. This has been an experience that I'll take with me for the rest of my life and beyond. I am so blessed. Through inspired coaches and hard working dancers to dance alongside, through early mornings that were worth every sore muscle, and through never ending practices- we came out as victors! I owe alot to my coaches and my team, they've given me so much. I am so grateful to my unconditionally supportive family and friends, and for being able to have them to count on has been a true blessing. But all in all, I am so PROUD of myself. I've done things this year I never thought I'd be able to. I've done the impossible and because of this experience I will continute to do so. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for always being there to listen to my prayers and helping me get up when I didn't think I could. I could not have done it without any of these people I have listed. What a perfect way to spend a HUGE chunk of my Senior Year! What am I supposed to do with myself now?? Oh, I know... graduate ;) I know that the season is over, but it's never really over, never. I earned my title... I am and will be, a Molahiette FOREVER.
                                                                                                                                   Thank you.


                                                       

An end in my sight, a beginning in my hands.

Ok. So, it's March. We're 3 months into the new year, and I haven't even blogged yet. Right now, with only 4 months left til graduation, I'm trying to keep my sanity. Senior year is dumb. I don't know if it's my attitude that is keeping me from liking it, but honestly, all I can think of is how much I want to be d-o-n-e with high school. I have a countdown going on. One month til the early morning practices are over, and man, it's going to end with a bang. State is only about 3 weeks away, and Nationals 4 weeks away. We've had success at every competition so far, taking first places in all of our dances and the occasional second places. This weekend is districts, so that means a ton of never ending practices. I absolutely love my team, and we're on our way to do the impossible. But that's the thing, with us... anything is possible. We're building the dream together, and we're about to show them all! I may be exhausted, and may come home after practices feeling like I can't go another day, but this year has been more than worth it. I've done things this year in drill team that I never thought I could do. I've been put to the test emotionally and physically. But I've learned so much about myself, and never have I been so proud of myself! So, I'm doing all I can to enjoy the last month of tears (both exhausted and happy), being sore, team bonding, early and late practices, and taking hard work to the floor and performing. This is the end of my dancing career, and I know I'll be devastated when it's over, but that only means, once it's over... next stop-graduation.
           This last stretch of high school has been a year of lasts and changes, and honestly- I've been so happy about it! 4 months! 4 months! Graduation will be the best day of my life. I know that I have been a complete downer this year, but can you really blame me for disliking the place they call school? I have a completely different opinion on what high school is now. Once I leave high school, I get to enjoy my last summer with my friends before some of guy friends leave for their missions, my best friend leaves to college for a summer term, and have one last hoorah til all my friends and I go our separate ways for college. I don't know how all that is going to feel, but it's time it starts happening.
           I start college on September 10th, and I have to be down to my apartment at BYU-I by September 7th. It's going to be a completely different experience, but it will be the experience I've been needing and am ready for. The end of high school is just only so far away.
           So I guess all I'm trying to say is something plain and simple. I cannot wait to graduate high school, summer will be the best thing ever, and college is a new beginning that is forming right in my hands. Only 4 months til I wear my cap and gown, 5 months til I'm 18, and 7 months til I have a new zip code.